MadTV - Music Video 2

Chacarron Macarron(very serious version)


Crack make me crazy


Syphilis Girl


Wherever You Will Go



Nsync - We Promise You


eminem

Black Eyed Peas Ft. Bush - My Slump


Sylvester Stallone & Mr-T

MadTV - Music Video 1

Shakira - Whatever, Don't Matter

High School Musical

Britney Spears - "I'm a Womanizer"

P. Diddy & Kim Jong-Il - Bomb Bomb Bomb

britney spears: i am not a child

Michael Jackson Neverland Ranch parody

Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake

yes i can

Crazy Music Video - Kim Jong IL

Confession

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times


Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

Thereason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling.What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife

TANDA TANDA DAH TUA (18sx)

1. Dulu, kalau nak membaca...dari jauh pun boleh baca. Sekarang dekat2 tak nampak....kena jauh-jauh sikit.

2. Dulu kalau nak kencing, dari jauh...suuurrrrr! !!! masuk.....!! ! Sekarang, kalau nak kencing, kena dekat- dekat, pelan-pelan lepas...baru masuk...

3. Dulu, masa tidur menhadap muka...rapat- rapat, sekarang berlaga punggung saja... itu pun dah kira rapat sangat dah tu....yang lagi teruk sorang tido kat luar bilik sorang tido kat dalam bilik

4. Dulu, mana-mana pergi mesti bawa minyak wangi (dalam kereta ke, handbag ke...), sekarang, bawa juga... tapi minyak angin la...

5. Dulu, pakai baju mesti sama...sama color, sama design, sama brand....sedondon. .. Sekarang, "Asal kau ada baju nak pakai udah la...!"

6. Dulu, kalau nak kemana-mana, sanggup tunggu bini sampai se jam iron tudung...pakai tudung.... Sekarang, "Alah...you pakai yg "wrinkle free" tu je la....!" (dlm hati.....macam la ada orang nak tengok dia...hiyyyy! !! (Malam tadi tak mau nak gosok... lembab!!)

7. Dulu, sanggup jalan berbatu2 teman bini shopping, sekarang...tunggu dlm kereta je. Kejap-kejap SMS..."Lama lagi ke?" "Apa aje yg you cari ni...?"
8. Dulu, hebat....!!! sebulan sampai 12 kali..., sekarang, kalau dapat 12 bulan sekali pun kira hebat juga...

9. Dulu, menunggu pun dah keras.... sekarang, menunggu nak keras...

10. Dulu, isteri nak tidur pakai shorts pun tak boleh, suruh buka..jgn pakai apa-apa. Sekarang, isteri nak tidur pakai kemban pun kena suruh buka juga... "Pakai baju yang senonoh sikit tak boley ke...?

( rembat dari : www.carigold.com )

How to know who loves u most?

You can just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your spouse in the boot of the car for an hour.

When you open the boot which one is really happy to see you?

Wat is the diff between Women,Age,Country

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.


Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.


Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!


Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.


Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.


Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.


Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.


After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there

Funny MTV

BAGAIMANA Menulis Surat rasmi - Cara minta kawin lagi.

Suami bin Lelaki
67, Jalan Angka,
81300, Skudai,
JOhor.

Isteri binti Perempuan
67, Jalan Angka,
81300, Skudai,
JOhor.

31 Oct 2008

Puan,

PERKARA : PERMOHONAN UNTUK BERPOLIGAMI

Perkara di atas adalah di rujuk.

2. Sebab utama permohonan ini di lakukan adalah kerana saya ingin melengkapkan kuota yang telah di peruntukkan bagi saya. Buat masa ini kuota yang telah di isi cuma satu, memandangkan masih ada 3 kekosongan, eloklah jika dapat di penuhi secepat mungkin. Pihak yang akan mengisi satu kekosongan ini buat masa ini ialah Cik Azura binti Penyek yang merupakan setiausaha saya di pejabat. Memandangkan komitmen yang beliau tunjukkan di pejabat amat baik, eloklah jika kita masukkan dia bersama kita di dalam organisasi keluarga kita. Kekosongan yang selebihnya akan di isi di masa akan datang.

3. Untuk makluman pihak puan, yang sebenarnya masalah ini telah lama saya fikirkan tetapi memandangkan poket saya yang selalu nipis, terpaksalah saya tangguhkan dulu permohonan ini di samping kurangnye rasa keyakinan untuk mengemukakan permohonan ini. Kini, setelah saya dapat mengeluarkan kesemua duit pelaburan ASB saya, saya merasakan kembalinya semangat saya yang telah hilang selama ini.

4. Permohonan ini amat setimpal kerana dengan kedudukan sekarang ia menguntungkan kedua belah pihak dan juga pihak ketiga. Selama ini hidup kita bahagia sebab jika tidak, manakan mungkin puan dapat menjadi seperti sekarang. Semua yang puan miliki sudah bertambah besar. Kereta besar, rumah besar, rantai besar dan pakaian besar. Jika dulu potongan puan seperti gitar, kini sudah bertukar menjadi drum. Oleh itu, sudilah kiranya dapat kita kongsi bersama insan lain kebahagiaan kita ini.

5. Pihak puan juga dapat menikmati faedah dari kelulusan permohonan ini kerana puan akan tetap menikmati apa yang telah puan miliki sekarang dengan waktu bekerja lebih singkat dan sistem syif akan di perkenalkan iaitu 1 hari kerja dan 1 hari cuti rehat. Waktu bekerja yang selebihnya akan ditampung oleh pihak ketiga. Kebaikan yang puan akan nikmati ialah waktu rehat yang bebas kerana dalam waktu puan bercuti, saya selaku Penyelia tidak akan memantau aktiviti yang puan lakukan. Pada waktu itu saya cuma akan fokus kepada hasil kerja pihak ketiga. Menguntungkan bukan?

6. Segala kerjasama dari pihak puan saya dahulukan dengan ribuan terima kasih. Saya amat berharap pihak puan dapat meluluskan permohonan saya ini kerana adalah lebih baik jika kita dapat berkongsi kebahagiaan kita ini bersama insan lain. Saya harap permohonan saya ini di balas dengan senyuman penuh keikhlasan dari pihak puan dan tandatangan puan di atas kertas yang saya lampirkan bukannya balingan periuk nasi, pinggan-mangkuk, ketukan senduk dan perkara-perkara yang menyukarkan pihak puan untuk melakukannya.

7. Saya harap puan sudi meluluskan permohonan ini. Hadirkanlah senyumanmu sebagaimana ketika kita menyambut orang baru iaitu bayi kita kedalam keluarga kita 10 tahun lepas. Situasinya lebih kurang sama dengan masa kini. Kita akan menerima orang baru juga cuma bezanya ialah jika 10 tahun yang lepas kita perlu menjaga dan membelainya dengan manja bersama tetapi kali ini, setiap urusan penjagaan dan belaian manja akan di laksanakan oleh saya sepenuhnya.

8. Akhir kata, saya harap permohonan saya ini dapat dibalas secepat mungkin. Semoga kita bersama-bersama dengan pihak ketiga akan dapat melaksanakan program ini dengan jayanya.

Sekian, Terima Kasih.

"BERKORBAN DAN BERKONGSI KEBAHAGIAAN LAMBANG RUMAHTANGGA BAHAGIA"

Yang Ikhlas Memohon,

Suami bin Lelaki

Sapa Nak RM1000 Free - Hadiah Sempena Hari Raya Dari Jibon007

Jangan Rebut Rebut....
Semua Dapat Punya...

Techno Music by Cow and Chicken

Please Help....I'm Looking 4 this boy.....

Please Help....I'm Looking 4 this boy.......being looking for high & low...cant find him..
here's a photo of him....
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Tips For Seniors ( in lovemaking)

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice. (This was sent in large type so you can read it.)

stolen from HERE

Meet The Spartans 2008 - Download

Meet The Spartans 2008
http://rapidshare.com/files/101391996/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part1.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101398821/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part2.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101405562/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part3.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101412786/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part4.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101421282/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part5.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101440287/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part6.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101466485/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part7.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/101469592/aa.MTS.aa-koi.part8.rar

Guys.....Here's some ways to make a woman happy

How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Man’s Vocabulary -The Dummy Guide

“Haven’t I seen you before?” = “Nice ass.”

“I’m a Romantic.” = “I’m poor.”

“I need you.” = “My hand is tired.”

“I am different from all the other guys.” = “I am not circumcised.”
“I want a commitment.” = “I’m sick of masturbation.”

“You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.” = “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”

“I really want to get to know you better.” = “So I can tell my friends about it.”

“It’s just orange juice, try it.” = “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.”

“She’s kinda cute.” = “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary.”

“I don’t know if I like her.” = “She won’t sleep with me.”

“I miss you so much.” = “I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to look good.”

“Was it good for you?” = “I’m insecure about my manhood.”

“How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?” = “Is my penis really that small?”

“I had a wonderful time last night.” = “Who the hell are you?”

“I’ll give you a call.” = “I’d rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot.” = “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”

“I think we should just be friends.” = “You’re ugly.”

I’ve learned a lot from you.” = “Next !!!”

“I’m on a long distance call, can you call me later?” = “I forgot to turn on my answering machine.”

“Do you love me?” = “I’ve done something stupid and you might find out.”

“Do you ‘really’ love me?” = “I’ve done something stupid and you’re going to find out sooner or later.”

“How much do you love me?” = “I’ve done something really stupid and someone’s on their way to tell you by now.”

“I have something to tell you.” = “Get tested.”

more jokes at HERE

List Of Subtitles Used In Films Made In Hongkong

I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

Gun wounds again?

Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

You daring lousy guy.

Beat him out of recognizable shape!

I have been scared shitless too much lately.

I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

How can you use my intestines as a gift?

This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

from link